This Just In: Fat Asses ARE STILL AMAZING!!!!

Despite decades and decades of Hollywood sleaze and housewives telling each other and us (men and curvy women) that curves on a woman are disgusting.

Poles that are NOT conducted by Cosmo or on the streets of Manhattan consistently show MEN (and lesbians) LOVE CURVES.

In fact when shown pictures and asked to tell which women from behind looked best the average American male (80%) picks a girl that wears a size 14.

Which by all consensus is considered overweight.

And besides we can just open our damn eyes and see that FAT ASSES ARE AWESOME!!!

And so in closing........

I rest my ass, I mean case
Jam

Whoever the hell Sarah Shahi is, she called Paris Hilton a "blonde piece of shit"

So some chick no one has ever heard of is the latest near victim of forever self absorbed Paris Hilton as she nearly killed Shahi and her 2yr old son.

Never stopping to acknowledge that another person even exists in this world, Paris Hilton immediately ran a stop sign and sped off.

More than likely she was trying to find her crack rock she dropped on the floor after   burning herself with her lit cigarette she didn't realize was still between her fingers while scratching her herpes scabs.

Either way Shahi went off in 180 characters or less for like 25 posts....which in real conversation is all of like 3 sentences, or in other words, about the same amount of time you spent with your kids today because you're too worried about the bullshit on celebs.

Story Right Here on People Magazine

Yep, yep.
J.Mike

Brad Pitt is SOOO Amazing he had sex with someone he has never met!!!

Well evidentially all the "news" about the fact that Bella Heathcote had been fucking Brad Pitts brains out is slightly over blown, just like Brad Pitt himself.

As the story is quite racy and juicy, even more amazing is that Star Magazine managed to have all the details about it inside its pages from unnamed sources......which is rough considering that YES Heathcote and Pitt are in a movie together, but they have no scenes together, and because it is Hollywood, no scenes together means no reason to be in the same country and thus they have never met in person.

According to Us Magazine:

Heathcote, 23, and Pitt, 47, both shot scenes for Cogan's Trade in New Orleans recently, but a source close to the actress tells UsMagazine.com there's no truth to the reports that Jolie, 35, is "desperate to keep Brad away from Bella."

"Bella has never even met Brad," the insider tells Us. "She is in the movie but doesn't have any scenes with him."

and so evidently someone's wet dream must have gotten the best of them, I assume.

And so all the details about Bella riding Pitt reverse cowboy, with a 5 gallon hat and spurs while grips and gaffers watch helplessly -- is just what it sounds like.....just another scene in an HBO series

More on Us Magazines website

Seikō watashi no o shiri
J.Mike

Franco Don't Play With Dumb Bitches

So the always flirty, freaky and just plain manwhore James Franco ripped a little real world sense into some dumb, stuck up, full of herself, blonde bombshell in a grocery store parking lot.

Evidently he has the same level of tolerance as I have for people

who think just because they're good looking, driving an expensive car they should get to act like they're the only ones who matter.

That level of tolerance happens to be the same level of tolerance as your average Syrian dictator has for his people.

Anyway, Franco humiliated the knock out, in a moment that could --until now-- only be dreamed up by a nerd who just got embarrassed by the captain of the cheerleading squad in high school.

The exchanges is witnessed as going:

Franco: (yelling): “Hey...pretty cool little car you’ve got there!”

Hottie (Purrs back): “Thanks. I just bought it. It’s really cool to drive.”

Franco (looking pissed): "Well, too bad it didn’t come with any #*&%$ turn signals!...I’ve been behind you for five minutes and you never once used your blinker in TEN turns!”

Hottie (looking stunned): ................................

Franco: “Let me give you a piece of advice – in the future, USE YOUR TURN SIGNALS! The life you save could be MINE!”

Full story on National Enquirer.com  click here
As I --for the first time in his career-- am applauding Mr. Franco on this one and second it by saying

Ditto bitch,
J.Mike

Betty White Blurb

Betty White takes a stroll for Easter.

The greatest woman who has ever been on TV took her normal daily walk. She needs to keep her legs warm, because if she doesn't stay active it makes it harder for her to bounce on those studs pelvises.

The Queen of comedy still lays them down like Megan Fox on speed. And even though she's pushing 90 she still pops it hardcore, and tries to break the dick like it owes her money.

Original Story, Pics & Additional Stories of the goddess herself on TMZ.com

I got nothing else,
J. Mike 

Goddess Mya Gets slammed for looking sexy cheap...

Mya shows up at an event looking like a girl that every guy could get. And shows once again, that sexy women are allowed to wear whatever the hell they want too.
And just because some bitch doesn’t think it looks good, that really doesn’t fucking matter, you bitches know why? Because she didn’t do it for you!
Mya’s only lot in life at this point is to be ogled by horny men and get paid for it!
Kind of like a hooker, or Lindsey Lohan, but a hell of a lot cleaner!

Some Bitch and a gay guy commented:

DAN BRICKLEY, Hitdanback.com: Her "Love Is Like...Wo," but her dress is like "ew."

JACKIE ROSE, author, Marrying Up: “The most colorful dental hygienist in Hollywood!”

To which I say “Anything She wants to put in my mouth I will gladly accept!”
Story on Us Mag’s site
Jam

Rachel Bilson Shows Bra on Red Carpet...

Link to follow:
This just in, Rachel Bilson…..wait what? Who the Fuck is Rachel Bilson? And why the fuck would I know her? And why the fucking hell would you give a shit about some bitch showing her bra? I’m sitting here right now watching 3 girls who look way better without a stitch on doing things that would make even a priest pass out!

I don’t give a fuck if she’s blowing the horrible acting, wooden expressioned Hayden Christensen! Besides what the hell has she done? Is that truly what we’ve come too? That we care about Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, or Rachel Bilson simply because E! Entertainment Television said so? I think you should be more worried about blowing your guy, than who Rachel Bilson is blowing!
Story on Us Mag’s website
Jam

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!! DID YOU HEAR ON TMZ???

Well, TMZ did it again! They have reported on some fucking shit that no one other than teenage bitches and 30-something over tanned suburbanite housewives with bad makeup, cares about.
So yeah, I guess the stupid shit happened at some point, that I didn’t really pay attention too and apparently their “reporters” hounded the fuck out of some poor people until they got the scoop.
So, I guess this means whatever the fuck this stupid shit is, we will continue to see it on like Access Hollywood or Extra or something like that for the next few days.
By the way they may have followed Seth McFarland around some more or something, but hey, who gives a shit, right?

BTW, like OMG, I like totally just found out what TMZ stands for!!! Well, my Aunt, you the one with the horrible dye job and acrylics, told she found out that like some Egyptian architects had found a giant carved stone in the Nile and it unlocked the mystery! Like totally for real it did. And so she, like my Aunt, the one with the horrible dye job and acrylics, said TMZ stands for: "No One Gives A Fuck!!!!!"

>>>The link to TMZ's story about Jesse James' "good looking" mistress is right this way<<<

By the way, my secretary says "Hi". She really is a smart and intelligent, fun, funny, lovable little thing.

Ciao,

Jam