Nic Cage in New Orleans, STILL THE MAN

So it has come to my attention that women still have not figured it out that Nic Cage is the greatest person in the HISTORY of time. Jesus has a bracelet that reads “WWNCD” for the love of all things holy.
And since that is fact they need to start realizing if Nic Cage feels you deserve a nice back hand, then you probably do. So you should take it and like it. And thank him for being so kind as to straighten you out.
You realize he is taking time out, time that he could spend pounding back another shot, just to remind you that you need to shut the fuck up.
So when Cage tells you to shut the fuck up and get out of the cab, you do it. Don't make him have to possibly bruise his hand on your boney face.

JUST DO IT!

Oh well I think this story on TMZ.com's website is actually somehow not about Nic and really about his useless son. But I didn't really read it as his son is not Nic Cage, and so he doesn't matter.
Story on TMZ.com


Jam.

Nic Cage beats the HOLY FUCK out of his kid

...or something like that says some nameless person

Everyone stop your life.....Nic Cage is trying to KILL HIS SON!!!!!!!!!
According to National Enquirer who is quoting RADARONLINE.com: 

Now, RadarOnline.com has exclusively revealed that Nic fell with his young son Kal-El in tow.

“At some point, Mr. Cage fell while holding their son," the incident report reads. "The fall caused the five (5) year old child to suffer a minor abrasion to his left knee, and she [Alice] then recovered the child.”

A child abuse detective was notified but determined that no further investigation was merited.

Oh, okay then......so I guess its really just a case of the media PROTECTING THE RIGHTS OF THAT POOR CHILD AT THE HANDS OF HIS ABUSIVE MANIAC FATHER!!!!!!! 

Just another day telling it like it is for the National Enquirer story here

Lets Just Hope Justice Is Served.....
No Father Should Ever Accidentally Fall While Holding Their Child!
Jam