MILEY CYRUS' TWAT!!! MILEY CYRUS' TWAT!!! MILEY CYRUS' TWAT!!! MILEY CYRUS' TWAT!!!

YEAH YOU HEARD ME!!!!!! MILEY CYRUS' TWAT!!! MILEY CYRUS' TWAT!!! MILEY CYRUS' TWAT!!! MILEY CYRUS' TWAT!!!

Perez Hilton finally did something that men can get some satisfaction out of. He posted Miley Cyrus' Punch Hole on twitter!!!!

Yay for all of the young boys who had to endure all those years of fantasizing about seeing what they can just go to school and see in 5th grade.
CLICK THE TWAT TO SEE THE TWAT!!!!!!



You like the pic?
Yeah its illegal.....I'M NOT THAT FREAKING STUPID!

Hopefully this means Perez Hilton will get some time in a cell with Lindsay Lohan......you know they put all the princesses and queens in together!

Anyway, too bad this ain't next year and that nasty twat ain't Michelle Pfeiffer's.
Jam

Miley's New Meat Log Blurb

The ever horny, brash, crass and straight up nasty former Hannah Montana star has her pink eye open for the Terminator's son.

Always ready for a Log Ride -- just like her momma taught her -- Miley heard Patrick Schwarzenegger had a crush on her and instantly searched him out like a bloodhound looking for a leg to hump.

Evidently they have had a few dates and coffee a few times, which I'm sure is code for "He got carpet burns from her grinding on his leg." But although Billy Ray thinks any chance Miley gets to take some dictation is a good thing, Arnold and Maria, not so much.

Quote from the National Enquirer article:

“Billy Ray and Tish think Patrick is the kind of stable guy Miley needs. But Arnold and Maria worry that Miley might lure Patrick into the Hollywood party scene.”

But I mean seriously its not like Miley is Patrick's only chance to get some 'Whackjob Cyrus Poon', just give it about 6 years they got another batch of trash coming.

Those Cyrus girls...YIKES!!!!!!!!!

That disgusting piece of shit needs to go away for these girls. 

Jam

Jennifer Aniston Proves Yet Again Pitt Was Smart To Drop Her Ass

Jennifer Aniston in her ever crashing attempt to prove herself a disaster, cold fish, bitchy wreck.

Since Aniston is now almost finished with the wrecking of her career post 'Friends' with all these dreadful movies, I'm actually for her going to 'Lifetime Channel' and make more dreadful movies because it keeps them off the cinema screens.

But seriously now, taking a break from making a story about cancer to go smoke seems like a completely appropriate thing for someone in Hollywood to do.

I mean while making 'Lolita' Jeremy Irons kept taking breaks to go fuck grade school kids. So it all goes together.

And besides this has nothing to do with smoking on the set of a cancer movie.
Its really just more proof that Brad Pitt was thinking ever clearly when he jumped that ship for greener -- psycho-freaky sex loving, warm blooded, mothering, big titted Angelina Jolie -- pastures.

Story on National Enquirer

And now I'm on a ham sandwich like Bill Clinton on a chubby chick.
J.Mike

PAUL McCARTNEY WANTS TO GIVE MORE MONEY TO A 'HIGH' CLASS WHORE!

So from what I can tell Paul McCarthy has yet to realize that the only reason any woman comes near him is because they know 18 months later they will get an 8 figure payout.

(be advised I only posted this to be able to post racy pics of Heather Mills)

He might be the brains behind one of the most iconic groups in music history, Wings, but evidently all the pot and pills have taken their toll on the 68 years old aging legend if he actually believes he isn't just signing another check when he signs this next marriage license.

I guess he figures at his age, either he'll die before he actually has to go through with it or he's just feeling generous and wants to ensure yet another woman's future is set.

According to the National Enquirer:

No wedding date has been announced yet.

The lovebirds started dating in 2007 after "meeting cute" at a party in The Hamptons.

The former Beatle is girding his loins for his third trip to the altar ...Shevell, 51, was previously married to New York politician and lawyer Bruce Blakeman."

Just a reminder of McCarthy's last flame Heather Mills.

Well, he has definitely taken a step up in class.

But once you've had Amputee-sex, you've....you've had amputee-sex.
J.Mike

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!! A PRINCESS NEEDS FOOD JUST LIKE NORMAL MORTALS??

In a shocking turn of events, it seems that KATE-FUCKING-MIDDLETON-WINDSOR-DUCHESS OF CAMBRIDGE-FUTURE QUEEN OF THE WORLD actually buys things....AND eats food just like a normal serf.
In fact she actually went out in public wearing clothes that cost less than a house in Malibu. And as it turns out she needs a cart, as I guess she hasn't learned how to make the things levitate off the shelves and follow her around like Eliza II...
OOPS!
I meant Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom and the Commonwealths.
I wouldn't want to mess up her title any, I mean its not like WE WON THE GOD DAMNED WAR TWICE.


Story on People.com

And we kicked their asses in WWII, Cheer-i-o!
Jam

CAN YOU BELIEVE THESE NASTY WHORES ARE THE SAME AGE???

FOXNEWS in its ever growing effort to combine smut rags, celebrities and politics into traditional British paper style, has a side by side of a bunch of celebs:

Some of which time has been too kind.

Others look like time took a baseball bat to their face.

She-whores and man-whores abound on foxnews.com's

As for this manwhore,
I got some more ass pics to check out before finishing off a bottle of Jack Daniel's Tennessee Honey.
And a tall blonde honey pot.
Jam

Kim Kardashian's AMAZING ASS!!!!!!! (Blurb)

Quick, quick TMZ is using every excuse it has to show pictures of Kim Kardashian's scantily clad, amazingly shaped ass.

So I'd get on it if I were you.......the video and pics I mean......

you guys are so nasty.
TMZ.com has the (un)story

Ms. Kardashian has many, many assets to consider.

And so if you'll excuse me I got some more photos to investigate.

Jam

Lindsay Lohan is still one fuckable CRAZY bitch!

I've been dreaming of hitting her hard since we were both 13: her at Camp meeting her British Twin sister and tricking her parents, me sitting in my best friend's mom's living room fingering his older sister imagining it was Lohan.

The National Examiner has her talking about dead people or something. I didn't really read it I just looked at the pic of her rack.

Randomly I quote The National Enquirer:

“Lindsay says she wakes up screaming about dead people jumping up at her from their gurneys,” said a friend.

“She’s even called SAMANTHA RONSON in the middle of the night, sobbing about how she’s petrified of being anywhere near REAL dead people!”

Story Here on National Enquirer.com
I am always glad to see a woman who has accepted her place in life, that being only as an object for wet dreams and tmz.com to get hardons over photographing in various states of boobage.

I mean seriously has there ever been a more messed up, but purely gorgeous sexpot?

Oh right, Marilyn.....no contest...

Jam

White Trash Wet Dream Bristol Palin Got Plastic Surgery

HOLY SHIT!!
Bristol Palin lost a lot of wait and that is obviously PLASTIC SURGERY!!!!

Because no one has ever lost a lot of weigh with dieting, its obvious the only way to lose 20 pounds (a bunch of it in their face) SO its obvious she had something that no one can tell done!!!

I'm really only posting this so I get a chance to post pics of her and her mom's big racks

OOPS!!! That's not Palin.....how did those get in there...hmmm.

People Magazine has a fictionalization of the story and claims:

Dr. Brian Glatt thinks that may be the case. "She seems to have had liposuction of her entire neck with a focus under her chin," Glatt, who hasn't worked with Palin, says in a press release, "which has produced a much more defined jaw line and lower facial area."

Story Here 

I don't know about no jawline, I just hope she takes a note out of Montana Fishburne's playbook and does something we can all get behind.

Bring the country together Bristol!
Bring the country together!

Just please don't pull a Montana Fishburne with that nasty ass, remember to clean between your legs before taping. And body makeup is a very good friend to chicks that lay of their backs for the camera.

Love may be a battlefield, but that doesn't mean it should look like the scars and remnants of a small skirmish are still present.
J.Mike

Showing Yet Again John Travolta IS The Man We All Should Be!

Showing yet again John Travolta IS THE MAN all us men should be like.
Like any Red Blooded American, Travolta frequents Walmart and Target.

According to the National Enquirer: 

“He’s a regular at the local Walmart near his Ocala, Fla., mansion. Not only does he buy his clothes there, but he even buys gifts for his family.

“John’s extended family cracks up on holidays because they know their presents will come from Walmart or Target. And they actually think it’s adorable because he tries so hard to find the perfect gift.”

 Jump Here 

The best dressed man, and God in Human form: Mr. Travolta hangs out and grabs up the Everyday Low Prices just like any other man.

Except when he does it, its perfection, unlike the rest of us who can't even zip our own pants, Travolta can always find a deal in an ocean of rip offs.

May I one day be half the man John Travolta kills with just the power of his mind.
J.Mike

This Just In: Fat Asses ARE STILL AMAZING!!!!

Despite decades and decades of Hollywood sleaze and housewives telling each other and us (men and curvy women) that curves on a woman are disgusting.

Poles that are NOT conducted by Cosmo or on the streets of Manhattan consistently show MEN (and lesbians) LOVE CURVES.

In fact when shown pictures and asked to tell which women from behind looked best the average American male (80%) picks a girl that wears a size 14.

Which by all consensus is considered overweight.

And besides we can just open our damn eyes and see that FAT ASSES ARE AWESOME!!!

And so in closing........

I rest my ass, I mean case
Jam